Sex wins.

I know

I know.

The title alone seems quite intriguing.

Be warned i have a tendency of diverting off topic and going on and on

*there you go*

:)

Well anyways, here is how it goes.

Sex wins. Sex trumps everything.

Take note.

Love and SEX are two very different things. You can have sex without love.

But you can't have love without sex.

Sex is a need.

A glue. A foundation that binds.

Seals the deal.

But sex doesn't always have to mean so much.

it can be completely meaningless.

its not a want. Its a need.

I've seen the enemy and the enemy is ME.

I hold myself back.

and then i blame you.

WHY?

Because you are my chance at something worthwhile.

something not so temporary.

I'm sick of flings.

But here's what joey said to me last night which was beyond epic!

Made me laugh for two whole minutes!

" You are an 8 month old virgin now and for what? He's a catholic! "

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This later led to a discussion on why catholic men make bad lovers.

Did anyone know they slept in separate beds after marriage!

Oh god.

It made sense you know.

She could even figure out that he carries around a handkerchief.

He is not in to suprises thus will never be the spontaneous kinda guy that i yearn for!

god damn it.

Joey was right.

Its unlike me.

Stef was right.

I have said this numerous times and yet i am still with this fool.

Makes me a damn fool i tell you.

Before he came in to the picture, sex was a need. now its a luxury i don't have!!

*wails*

well actually i realised something.

I am a fickle minded fool.

I want him. But he's taking too long to make a move.

You see he met a girl who was seemingly quite interested in him.

and he didn't make a move on her.

He should've.

REALLY!

I am not being sarcastic.

Not all girls are like me.

when we met for the first time.

I asked for his number.

I made the move by casually thanking him for his company.

See in other words i do wear the pants here.

Its not anything its just that i know what i want.

He is living in his own little head.

So secure by the fact that he's got me no strings attached.

Thing is jon was right

*here i go again*

I am way too matured for him .

My take on things are way more on the bigger picture.

I see him as someone i genuinely care for.

My chance at something good.

Not that i expect him to be the world's best boyfriend or anything.

I don't really need a boyfriend right now.

He is already like one to me.

He treats me like i belong to him.

and i oughta feel good about it but really its confusing to me sometimes.

Like he'll tell me that he doesn't wanna hold me back and stuff but really the moment things seemed like it was getting better between me and my ex, he panicked.

what i don't understand is. if you're so afraid to lose me? then why leave me hanging!

MORON.

*sighs*

I am becoming too dependant on him to be around.

I bought the super savers thingy last night thinking that he and i would be talking till the wee hours!

but noooooo...

he got sleepy... and i was like a sad little puppy dog..

*seeming extremely clingy at this point*

No but see here. Almost everyday for the past week, we've been on the phone till 4..

So i was used to it.

So as a result of my foolishness in buying the pack without consideration to his SLEEPYNESS!

I called JOEY! :D

Which was great aside from the fact that thanks to me she was diverted from her original plans.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But i didn't realise how much i missed talking to her till the wee hours of the morning.

Haven't laughed so hard in so long!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

I really need to work on my priorities.

:)

He is not my number one or two or three. maybe four.

I am not making someone my priority when to him i maybe dispensable.

I can't take that risk.

Rawr!

End this note by saying i love JOEY! STEF! KIM! JON! NEDA! JOYCE! *miss you* VINA! PRADEEP! SHAM! AND most importantly SUTHASHINI!!*my piggie* and all the beautiful amazing people that help me through my madness knowingly and unknowingly!